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Average bulge, is what's beneath average?

Orange is my favorite color, what do you think of my bulge in this color? ;)

You get the girl home, but notice she has a bulge. What you do next?

“Hi Sweetie! Mommy was just practicing for her show tonight, what did you think? Judging by that bulge in your pants I think you really liked it! You know, I have a few hours before the show, so how about we go back to Mommys dressing room and I’ll give y